


By His Side

by BrokenBookAddict



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: 1x20, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bus Kids - Freeform, Denial of Feelings, Developing Relationship, Episode Tag, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Humor, Humorous Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Longing, Love, Male-Female Friendship, Partners to Lovers, Philinda - Freeform, Relationship(s), SHIELD has fallen, Scars, Sex, Smut, Team Dynamics, Team as Family, partners
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 09:27:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20207470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokenBookAddict/pseuds/BrokenBookAddict
Summary: He had accused her of being Hydra, had pointed a gun at her, shot her, handcuffed her while demanding answers. Answers he understands now where his best interests were at heart.1x20.





	By His Side

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Marvel's Agents of shield, if I did, that shit show at the end of season 6 would never have happened. What I do own are any errors found lurking here (their sneaky little bastards).
> 
> My first Philinda fic. 
> 
> Post 1x20.

The cheap motel room is dimly lit, the tall floor lamp and the single uplight on the wall offer the only light as it casts a low glow throughout the partially darkened room. It gives the cheap room an intimate and cosy feel despite the actual conditions which leaves a lot to be desired. It's standard but it'll do it's job. There's a heavy silence blanketed throughout the space, heavy with tension from the proof of a truth long buried.

May stays quiet as always, standing at his side, watching him as he absorbs the information he's just received and waiting for his reaction. Her '_cold_' heart aches for him, a feeling of guilt settling into her body right done to her bones, weighing down heavily upon her for being the one to bring this to light. But it had to be done.

For his sake as well as their relationship or whatever scraps are left of it. 

She stands in silence as he watches the footage once more, as if checking what he saw was actually real.

Unfortunately, it is. 

He feels like he can't catch his breath, like the air is trapped in his lungs and he reaches up to loosen his tie further, slipping it from around his neck. The material having felt like a noose. His eyes never leave the screen before him, the words '_end_ _transmission_' stare back at him. Two simple words that seem suffocating in the knowledge of what they follow. His thoughts are racing and his emotions are a jumble but at the forefront is nausea, he feels sick to his stomach. All along it had been _him_, he had been the one behind project Tahiti. It's a hard truth to swallow and it feels like he could choke on the knowledge he's just learned.

He raises a trembling hand to drag over his face, shifting his gaze finally away to the woman at his side. Seeing her stand beside him like she always has, through everything, hits him hard. This woman has never wavered in the the face of his recent behaviour which as of late has left a lot to be desired, yet she's here. The look in her eyes, offer a mixture of emotions ranging from sadness and guit to care and dare he hope _love_, are his undoing. He crumbles. Everything hitting him at one. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

His apology isn't aimed at just one thing, it's for everything but mainly for how he's treated her. No apology could ever seem enough to make up for it. He had accused her of being Hydra, had pointed a gun at her, shot her, handcuffed her while demanding answers. Answers he understands now, where his best interests were at heart.

May shakes her head, his distress heightening her own. "_Don't_." That one word tells him to not apologise and to not fall apart. She needs him to be strong, for himself and for the team, like he was for her through Bahrain. A solid pillar of strength to get them through whatever dark, tough times they face ahead. 

But it's in that moment looking up at her that he realises how much _he_ actually needs her. Through thick and thin, through blood and water, through heaven and earth, _better and worse,_ May has remained a constant by his side.

_Always_.

Lord knows he has tried to deny it, to ignore the depth of his feelings and move on. But, it's hard to be in love with your best friend. He had to stand back on the sidelines and watch as she married Andrew because he wanted her to be happy and he'd tried to do the same for himself. Audrey had come into his life and he tried, for awhile it proved a success but deep, deep down he always knew. It had always been her, right from the very beginning. From the first look at her in hand to hand back at the academy, this tiny Asian woman, beautiful and completely badass, taking down men twice her size. She became his best friend, his right hand and partner but more importantly, the woman he loves.

Coulson wants to laugh at the absurdity of it all, that now is the time he finally acknowledges the truth of his repaired heart. It's another one thing to rock the foundations of his already crumbling world, he has Skye back but Ward is Hydra, he was behind Tahiti and Shield is all but rubble around their feet with his team standing amongst the destruction.

Not forgetting his bus is fucking gone and Lola is wrecked... he's still pissed about that too.

Their world has turned into a giant shit show in a relatively short period of time. 

But throughout it all, May has been a pillar of strength not only for himself but for the whole team. With a ragged breath he lifts his eyes back to her, his world narrows and focuses until there's only her.

Without thought his hands move almost on their own accord to her hips and he pulls her toward him, so he's able to lean forward and rest his forehead against her stomach.

Above him May stiffens at the initial contact, her automatic response is to pull away but instead she allows herself the rare opportunity to relax. She knows she's safe with Phil. Her eyes flutter to a close and she lets her hands rest on his shoulders, soothing him gently.

They've been through so much, they deserve this moment albeit however brief it may be. 

On a shuddering breath, her name leaves his lips. "Melinda..."

This suddenly seems far more dangerous than she first anticipated. Her every sense screams to abort, to step back and walk away because a rising feeling within her knows exactly where this is going but she doesn't. Not this time. When his lips press a kiss to her ribcage, the heat of his lips seeming to burn even through the material of her shirt, she doesn't pull away, because she knows this is it. After years of restraint and denial, she no longer wishes to pull away and deny him, deny herself whatever he has to offer. They've been to far and seen to much, it's time.

Coulson shifts his head back enough so he can move her shirt aside so his lips can meet her skin. His open mouth kisses brush over her skin, igniting a fire within her.

Reaching down, she takes his hands to tug him up from the chair. He goes willingly. Their so close and eyes connect and hold, everything they have found themselves dealing with simply falls away. Nothing else matters outside of these four walls of this crappy motel room.

Just them.

For now, May allows him to take the lead but she has one question before they can progress.

"Phil." She says quietly, drawing back his attention from where it wandered down her body. "Are you sure?" 

He steps closer, his body pressing against hers. "It's always been you." 

His whispered words are all she needs to hear and hearing them feels so good after so many years of wondering. It matches perfectly how she feels. 

Coulson runs his hands up her arms, fingers curling into her leather jacket to push it away. Even before the leather has meet the floor, his attention is turned to her shirt, button after button slips away before her shirt joins the jacket at her feet. His eyes burn into her, taking her in... from her scar blemished skin to the black lace of her bra. He's seen her like this before of course but under very different circumstances, this is so very different. Now he doesn't have to caution his gaze, instead he's allowed to look his fill, he's allowed to touch her however he wishes. It's intoxicating to have free reign.

His fingers move over her scars, mapping them and remembering instances where he had to patch her up, from Prague to Paris to Moscow, each tell a story. His fingers halt over the recent addition on her chest, where she'd been stabbed in Italy. His thumb brushes lightly over it, before his fingers move away as they travel around to the clasp at her back, where with quick and clever movement the clasp releases and the black material draws away leaving her bare to his wanting gaze. She's beautiful and as corny and ridiculous as it sounds, she takes his breath away.

Taking his distraction to her advantage, May kicks off her boots then unbuttons her jeans. The black material slides down her legs and she watches as his eyes drop to follow. It gives her a sense of power, how captivated he is. She stands before him bold and beautiful clad only in plain but somewhat oddly sexy black panties. He seems frozen, standing and staring and she rolls her eyes in amusement. Reaching out she takes his hand in hers and leads him over to one of the beds. It's not big but it'll do. They could pause and push them together but there's a sense of not wanting to waste anymore time so they settle for one. When they reach it, May turns to him but moves backwards until she's kneeling on the foot of the bed.

Her hands smooth over the lapels of his jacket before she pushes it away, under it's own weight, it falls to his feet. Pulling it out of his waistband, she starts on the buttons of his white dress shirt. One by one they slip free until there's only one left and that's when his hands lift away from her waist to cover hers, halting any further progress. She knows the reason behind his hesitation and shakes her head dismissing it. There's a beat of a pause then his hands drop away allowing her to slip the last button free, then the dress shirt is on the floor joining his jacket. May holds his gaze as her fingers explore. Gentle and tentative, they trace the length of his scar, the skin no doubt still sensitive beneath her touch.

"Remember what I told you, this means you survived, that you're strong and that you're _here_." With me, goes unsaid.

Coulson looks down then back to May. "It's ugly and it represents what I did, it--"

Her lips pressing against his scar halt any further words. She pulls back and moves her one hand to cup his face as the other covers the scar. The expression on his face has the power to end her. She shakes her head. "Nothing about you is ugly. This scar isn't ugly, it's proof you fought and survived... You're Philip J Coulson, that's who you were then and that's who you are now."

Coulson releases a shuddering breath, letting her words wash over and reassure him. He nods, allowing himself to believe her. Mirroring her gesture, he cups her face and leans into her, meeting her mouth with his for the first time.

Well not the first time, having been undercover as a married couple many times but the first time as just _them_. Just Phil Coulson and Melinda May. 

A sigh escapes May at the contact but it soon gets lost in his kiss. The kiss itself is slow, thorough and deliberate as if he's committing every single detail of it to memory. His hands tilt her head just so as his lips part and his tongue traces along her lower lip, asking rather than demanding entrance into her mouth, entrance that she gladly grants. Her unavoidable whimper clashes with his moan when their tongues meet and the kiss deepens. He tastes of the chocolate she'd seen him share with Skye as she slipped into his room. Without much thought she moves closer, pressing herself against him. Her hands refuse to stay idle as they venture lower for his belt, sliding it out and opening his trousers, pushing them along with his boxer briefs down his hips where he kicks them aside, toeing out of his shoes and socks just after. Finally she has him naked, after so long of wanting him exactly like this. She breaks the kiss to look at him, meeting his shy smile with one of her own. He has absolutely nothing to be shy or embarassed about. She smiles into his quick kiss when he lifts her, her legs going around him as he kneel onto the bed holding her. His fingers tangle in her hair and his mouth comes down upon hers as they fall back onto the cheap motel sheets. The intoxicating scent that makes Coulson-- _Coulson_, envelopes her every sense.

Every barrier she's ever erected, every defence falls away in the safety of this room and in his embrace. She allows herself to just _feel, _to experience what it means to be with this man after so many years of _wanting_.

In this room she isn't Agent Melinda May or the cavalry, she's just Melinda. 

A breathy moan escapes her when he flicks his tongue against the roof of her mouth and rocks his hips into her in a rhythm that sends fire straight to her core and she opens her mouth under his, submitting to his demand for more. Soon a whimper escapes her when he pulls away, moving his kisses down her throat, her collarbone to her breasts. Her fingers twist into the cheap sheets beneath her. The look on his face right now is enough to be her undoing, gone is the haunted and burdened expression, in it's place is love, astonishment and need. It's almost to much to witness as the warmth of his mouth surrounds her hardened nipple and her eyes flutter to a close. May focuses instead upon the sensations he's evoking, sucking in a sharp breath when he flicks his tongue around the bud, circling it before his teeth bite gently, bringing the right side of pain into pleasure. Glancing up at her, Coulson smiles against her breast before moving away, dropping lower and lower until he's situated between her thighs. The barrier of her panties remain between where he wants to be, hooking his fingers under the band, slowly he drags them down before tossing them aside absentmindedly. Finally, she's bare to his gaze as well as his touch. His fingers are tender yet hold a purpose, confident when they meet her centre. He grazes his fingertips through her heat, taking in her wetness and groaning at what he finds, so ready for him already. Her hips flex into his touch as if searching for more so he gives it to her. His thumb brushes lightly over her clit before retreating, his hand cupping her mound then two fingers are pressing inside of her. Her gasp is unmistakable and so is her hips rising to chase his movements. Dropping his head, his hot mouth closes over her clit, his tongue delicious against the sensitive bud. He works her to perfection, pushing her higher before retreating pulling her back from the edge, teasing her again and again. He's thought of this moment so many times but the reality is so incredibly better than he anything could and has imagined. Her one hand curls into the pillow behind her while the other buries itself into his hair. The normally unflappable woman curses as her breathing begins to come faster and faster, growing more laboured as she approaches the edge until finally he gives it to her and she's there falling over into the abyss of pleasure.

His name is a ragged soft cry falling from her lips, her body arching, her thighs trembling. She's so much more responsive and vocal than you would imagine her to be, being Melinda May and the cavalry but then, here with him, she feels safe enough to allow those barrier to fall.

Coming down from her pleasure, Coulson flicks his gaze up at her, running a hand over his mouth. He smiles warmly at her when she opens her eyes and offers him a lazy smile. She moves towards him, her mouth against his as she straddles him and she reaches between them, her hand enclosing around his hot hard flesh but he covers her hand, as much as it pains him, halting her from lowering herself down onto him.

May takes his hesitation as question and she shakes her head. "It's fine, we don't need that."

_Protection_, his mind soon catches up and realises and he huffs a laugh because he hadn't even thought of that but that wasn't why he stopped her. His hand slides up her spine to rest at her nape. He meets her eyes, more dark than he's ever saw them. "Trust me," he says softly.

There's the briefest of pauses before she nods. Coulson slowly tips her backwards so he comes to rest above her and once more he looks down and meets her eyes. He's known her long enough to know how she approaches sex with other men, heard the stories but this, what's happening between them is different. This isn't some quick fuck with a fellow specialist to relieve tension while maintaining control. This is about cementing the connection between them, allowing themselves to trust in one another as they finally take this step forward.

Taking a breath, her gaze never wavers from his as she once more reaches between them, her hand encloses around his hot hard flesh and he follows her guidance to her centre, pressing himself where they both want and need him to be. Slowly he sinks into her, his eyes locked onto hers as she envelopes him in her heat. She pants through the invasion, loving the feel of him invading her so deeply. He pauses when he's settled inside of her, enjoying and drawing out the initial moment and connection between them. His darkened eyes, pupils blown with need stares down at her, watching her and when she blinks up at him, it's as if she's seeing him clearly for this first time. "Move..." she whispers the instruction and he can do nothing but follow her command. He moves with languid yet purposeful strokes, hips moving slowly into hers in a steady rhythm. This isn't a race, he means to make this last, it's been a long time for him and this has been a long time coming. 

It's making love, that's what they're doing in this crappy motel room. May shifts, pulling her legs up around his waist, her legs locking around him to draw him in closer and the slight shift in angle draws a moan from them both. Coulson groans and drops his head into the crook of her neck, his lips brushing her skin.

His right hand slides along her arm where it's extended above her head, his fingers sliding between hers, locking their palms together. His left cradles her face, tender fingers against her cheek. 

She focuses on the feel of him moving inside of her and the pleasure that brings, of Coulson and the feeling of him surrounding her. With anyone else she would feel suffocated and fight to free herself, to take control but not with him. Instead she holds him tighter, moving with him, taking his mouth with her own. It feels like they stay like that forever, the world around them falling away and time stopping.

Who knows how much time passes by, the room filled with the sound of their love making. The bed creaking in rythmn with his thrusts, the air filled with heavy breathing, whimpers, moans and groans... 

A sudden snap of his hips, harder than before brings her back, rips a ragged cry from her lips. "Again..." And he does as she commands. Now the need for more spurs them on, thrusting into her harder, faster, deeper...

He lifts his head to kiss her, his tongue in her mouth. "Melinda..." he mutters against her lips after he breaks the kiss. "Melinda, Melinda... Melinda." Her name is like a desperate mantra, coming with every snap of his hips.

Her name like that falling from his lips is almost enough to get her there but it's not enough. Instead pleas fall from her lips. "Please, Phil--"

"Look at me," Phil says suddenly, gentle fingers on her face, "look at me."

May forces her eyes open to lock her gaze onto his. The eyes she loves, so much more darker than usual, pupils blown with pleasure as he stares down at her with an intimacy, a need that's so overwhelming that she couldn't look away even if she wanted to. His gaze holds her captive. Her lips, swollen from his kisses drops open, sultry moans escape as she edges closer and closer until she's there, falling over the edge into the oblivion of pleasure. Coulson follows shortly after filling her and it's only then that their locked gaze finally breaks when his arms refuse to hold him above her any longer and he collapses against her, his weight welcome in her arms.

Their skin glistens with sweat in the dim light, the air of the room smells like sex and the silence is broken only by their heaving breaths. May brushes her hand down his back and he lifts his head with a smile, dropping to kiss her lips before moving to collapse at her side. They lie there side by side looking at one another, the gravity of what they have just done, settling into their bones. This changes everything and neither could care less.

There's no protocols to fear anymore, no levels because there's no Shield. All that remains is them. 

May reaches out for the hand that rests between them, her fingers tracing along his before they interlock and she leans forward to kiss his knuckles.

A slow smile spreads onto Coulson's face.

This is the most at ease and dare she say, happy, that she has seen him since his resurrection.

"I have wanted this for-- such a long time."

His whispered confession comes shyly between them, despite the act that had just taken place. 

She matches his smile with a rare one of her own before she admits quietly, "me too."

Coulson moves to close the gap between them, his kiss soft and slow and when he does finally manages to pull away, it's with a sigh of content.

"Now that was definitely a life affirming experience." 

May rolls her eyes, allowing a soft laugh to escape while watching him as his eyes slowly drift closed. She knows how tired he is, even more so now. She runs her fingers through his hair, hoping to sooth him further. "Go to sleep Phil, you need to rest." He's been through so much. 

He doesn't open his eyes as he smiles lazily. "Your fault, you wore me out." He says teasing before he turns serious. "You'll be here?" There's an unspoken fear underlining his words, like he's worried she's going to leave. 

"Always."

And it's true. This woman is always by his side; as his best friend, as his right hand and partner and now as his lover.

They both know they have a long way to go with a big fight ahead of them but together and with the team, they have faith they'll overcome whatever is thrown their way.

They have come to far and been through to much to lose everything now.

Especially this. 

The end....

The next morning, Coulson slips on his jacket as he heads for the door.

The bed is a mess still, from last night and this morning, the couple having made love in the early hours, sunlight slipping between the curtains as they moved together. With one last longing glance towards the bathroom where the shower is still running, he steps out into the early morning sunlight.

Almost immediately his gaze lands on Skye and Simmons sat at the table situated poolside, an array of food laid out on the surface with a good supply of coffee. Clearly they've been up for awhile. 

"Morning AC, breakfast is served."

He narrows his eyes at her cheerful behaviour, especially this early in the morning and his wonderings are soon offered an explanation. When he steps up beside her to reach for a coffee, she playfully bumps her shoulder with his.

"Way to go AC, it's about damn time."

"Skye!" Jemma admonishes, looking absolutely mortified.

"What are you talking about?" He asks clueless, not for a moment thinking along the same lines that Skye and Jemma are.

"Seriously?" Skye says disbelieving, giving him a look. "You know, these cheap motel walls AC, not so thick."

Realisation hits him like a ton of bricks. Skye and Simmons have the room next to his with Fitz and Trip next door down from them. Clearly, from Skye's enthusiasm and the way Jemma won't even look in his direction let alone meet his eyes, they'd clearly heard him and May last night. _Great_.

"Look, we---"

"AC?" Skye interrupts, holding up a hand. "We're just teasing. We think it's great, well I do, Simmons is still a little scarred." She snorts a laugh and hands her boss a container which clearly holds his breakfast. "Come on, let's eat and think up a way to cut off Hydra's head."

Coulson drops down into his chair, once more feeling thankful for this dysfunctional family he's found himself with. He glances at his motel door once more, a small smile on his face.

Yes, they'd be alright.

Definitely, the end.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, if you got this far to see this end note that is. 
> 
> This was quite scary to post, my first Philinda fic. Stepping out of my comfort zone of The Flash. Hopefully you wonderful readers enjoyed this. Let me know your thoughts, feedback is always appreciated, good or bad, especially as I tackle a new pairing, who I simply adore. 
> 
> More of this couple will come from me in future, I have a love of writing episode tag fics, so I have many favourite episode moments to explore. 
> 
> Come say hi on Instagram or tumblr, both can be found under the same name. 
> 
> Until next time.....
> 
> ❤


End file.
